Buy me a productive life for 10 rupess

Please,please do!
I heard you can get one for really really cheap on Ebay,
and it comes with free health assurance.
(I didn't say insurance.)

I'm going to make a film by the end of this year.
There,I said it!

Now I really have to do it.
I really really have to do it.

So this life I'm talking about.This is the one I want you to buy me:

-Incredible skills of intuition.
I want to avoid burning myself for the third time with ma's unraveling rusty yellow iron, and also know when it's time to take my medicines.

-Amazing powers of Boservation.
It's like observation, but the boring kind. The kind that gets your backside off the laziness-stained mattress and onto the dashboard of forever-fruitful-work. It's so mind-numbingly amazing that you don't even realise how boring you're getting, and then time passes by and HEY, you've suddenly become productive and the storyboard's done.

-Excruciating blobs of self-confidence
I am the greatest animator in the world. I make Len Lye and W.Wrake wish they were as experimentadely awesome as Kaveri Gopalakrishnan. Her name's not catchy but it'll catch on. I have full knowledge of my own capacities and I can drink wheatgrass juice faster than vodka in order to pull all-nighters that end with The Greatest Plan In The CapLocksAdjective World To Create An Animation Film That Will Ice This Century.
*soundtrack of World Hold On plays on free laptop earphones*

-Writers Flock and Artists Glock
GIGANTIC mounds of creativity that get drawn toward me like soil to an earth-bender.(If you think Im talking about The Last Airbender,I suggest a good dose of 3 seasons of Avatar. The very distractingly waow TV Series.Ok, I can't go on to a hopeless audience.)

All right.
No one's buying this ten rupess life, clearly.

Does this mean what I think it does?

Oh fruitcakes.
It means drawing more with pencil and less with hypothetical constructions of blebleble.
Also, earning that ten rupess. At some point. Sigh.

Why can't Ebay just get more useful already, and send me a hundred cats to draw?